11/10/2008

I've been iPwned

This is going to be the first in what I am sure will be a long list of rants about my iPhone. I've resisted the iPhone for quite a while. It's easy for me, I have a long standing disdain for Apple, it's products and the sycophants who relentlessly parade around with their iGear in my face just to prove how cool they are, and by inference how cool the rest of us aren't.

The iPhone is now about 18 months old having been released in April of 2007. Up until recently I had not had a need for this device. I didn't need an always-on connection to my email or the internets and my phone was good enough. My "good enough" phone was a RAZR v3XX. As it happened there were a large number of those that sucked and after 3 returns I ended up with a RAZR2 V9. I was happy with the feature set of my v3XX but I took the upgrade anyway.

Now to me, if it's got the word phone in the name, it had better be a damned good phone. I upgraded to a v3XX because I wanted to have a portable MP3 player as well. So now my phone has two mjor features. Cameras are nice, but are really tertiary to what I needed.

So, now my life has changed and I need to be able to read and write email all the time, evereywhere. So it's time to get a portable internet device, and the iPhone seemed like a good choice. The company paid for it, so expense wasn't an issue.

So far I'm unimpressed by the iPhone. As a phone, it's uncomfortable to use and the call integrity is poor as is the fidelity. As an MP3 player it sucks rocks, and I'll tell you why in a minute. As an internet device it is great. As a complete device, it's got some really rough edges.

I absolutely hate the stupid white adapter cord. I would have thought that Apple could have figured out a way to use USB by now. Why do I need that proprietary plug? Especially when you factor in the shitty battery life, this feature is a net negative. Whatever benefit *I* get from that plug, I can't figure. Motorola had a special fitting for the RAZR2 V9 that added a headset to the mini USB, but they provided a 2" adapter that you could keep on your keychain that would get you back to a mini USB.

The lack of A2DP BlueTooth is a miserable lameness that just sucks ass. This means that I can't use my stereo bluetooth headphones with my iPhone. This is a suprising oversight and missing feature that I would think was a no-brainer. Was it deliberate? I really woldn't put it past Apple to hold off on this so more people are wandering around with those cocky white iPod "oh but with a mic" headsets on all the time. Not me man, none of that "look at me I'm soo cool cuz I buy Apple" bullshit. Keep the stickers too while you're at it.

I'm not a Mac or a PC, I'm a human who happens to run Linux. This obviously means that I get nothing as far as support from Apple. Sweet, they build their great third age on the back of open source and then treat all of us like dirt. Where's my Linux iTunes? Hell where's my FreeBSD iTunes for that matter.

Ok I know that is aking too much, how about just letting me access the stinking memory from a USB cable? Once more Motorola does better by doing less, I could directly access my phone's flash through the USB. Sure it only had 2G of flash after I upgraded (for a whopping $10) but at least I could use it.

$299 on a two year contract with ATT is steep especially because you need the more expensive data plan.

Did I mention the battery life? Brand new phone won't make it 24 hours on a single charge and moderate-light usage.

And I left the stupid cord on my desk so I can't charge it here.

I *really* wanted this to not suck. Apple can fix all of the software issues with patches, but I woder how much of this is just Apple being Apple. They always know best and the fans don't complain.

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